Widows Support, Coaching for Widows

Ahhh, Valentines Day.

I had a blind date set for tomorrow… but thankfully, when he realized that it was Valentines Day (both of us were clueless) he balked at the prospect of standing in line surrounded by couples gazing into each other’s eyes. I am so grateful for his foresight and we are meeting today instead.

Valentines Day is so memory laden!

Mike gave me my first cell phone on Valentines Day. In those days they were ‘car phones’. The package was huge because car phones came in briefcases way back then…and as I held it, wondering why he put my earrings in such a large box, he dialed the number from the house phone. Of course when the still-wrapped package rang, he practically danced a jig at this amazing piece of technology, positive that I was as excited as he. While I kissed him in gratitude I quietly wondered why on earth I needed a telephone in my car. The next snowstorm gave me my answer.

Then there was the year we were tight for cash and decided no gifts. I was fine with our agreement.  But the ladies who worked for Mike convinced him that I really didn’t mean it and that if he came home gift-free, he would pay. And pay, and pay and pay…

So at 5:00 on Valentines Day he stopped at the florist on the way home from work and bought the last piece of flora in stock. It was the hugest, greenest, and most magnificent exotic plant available on Cape Cod in the dead of winter. I swear it was bigger than me. Heck, it was bigger than our dining room and I used a Radio Flyer Wagon to wheel it from room as I searched for its final destination.  I think Mike took out a second mortgage to afford it. Of course, I had nothing for him and I quietly cursed the ladies.

Then there was the year of the Sea horse earrings that were so long they practically reached my armpits and I couldn’t turn my head without lifting them…he had my daughter pick them out. She was four.

And the year of the dolphin earrings…she picked them out also.

The year of the lighthouse earrings…. yes, Anneke again. Obviously too young to understand diamonds.

Ahhh Valentines Day. Memories so sweet.

At first, I could not think of past years without a searing pain through my heart.

But now, when I share these memories with Anneke, we laugh. She loves to hear, and I love to tell her. No pain. Just a simple joy at remembering that we were very human beings doing our best.

Mie Elmhirst

Coach for Widows

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